1. IELTS academic task 1 sample essay 3: 2014 age distribution in Asia
The chart above illustrates the age distribution of the population in Asian countries for the year 2014.
It is divided into five distinct age groups: 0 to 14 years, 15 to 24 years, 25 to 54 years, 55 to 64 years, and 65 years and above. The largest segment of the population, constituting 35.3 percent, is occupied by individuals aged between 25 and 54 years. Following closely behind are the 15 to 24 age group, accounting for 19.5 percent, and the 55 to 64 age group, representing 18.4 percent. Children aged 0 to 14 years make up 15.6 percent of the population. Lastly, the smallest fraction, at a mere 11.2 percent, is constituted by individuals aged 65 years and above.
In summary, the pie chart vividly portrays the dominance of working-age adults (including teenagers aged 15 and above) within the Asian population during the year 2014. The combined percentage of young children and senior citizens amounts to slightly over a quarter of the total population.
Score: 6.5, and a teacher feedback below:
Firstly, the essay accurately describes the chart and clearly presents the age distribution of the population in Asian countries in 2014. It mentions the five age groups and provides the percentages for each group.
However, there are some grammatical and expression errors in this essay. Here are some issues that need to be pointed out:
The use of overly formal language. IELTS essays require the use of clear and concise language, avoiding overly formal or academic expressions.
Sentence structures are somewhat complex. Candidates should strive to use simple sentences and compound sentences, avoiding excessive use of clauses and complex structures.
The concluding statement could be improved. It could be more concise and impactful in summarizing the main findings of the chart.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the chart and effectively communicates the key information. However, attention should be paid to language accuracy and clarity to enhance the overall presentation of ideas.
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